One Child’s Journey Through Hair Brushing: Supporting the Autism Community

By Jazzmyn Mijic, MS, BCBA
Posted: July 2026
Category: Daily Living Skills, ABA Programming, Caregiver Support

Some of the most meaningful progress in ABA does not always look like a child sitting at a table, answering questions, or completing academic tasks.

Sometimes, meaningful progress looks like a child allowing their hair to be touched for one second.

Then three seconds.

Then five seconds.

And eventually, participating in a full hair brushing routine.

For one child, hair brushing was a difficult daily living skill. It was something the caregiver wanted support with because it affected their daily routine, hygiene, comfort, and dignity. Like many personal care routines, hair brushing was not just about appearance. It was connected to the child’s health, scalp care, independence, and ability to participate in a routine that happens often in family life.

For children with autism or related developmental needs, hair brushing can feel uncomfortable, unpredictable, painful, or overwhelming. And when a child has curly hair, thick hair, or hair that requires more maintenance, this routine can become even more important and even more stressful for families.

That is why we approached this skill carefully, respectfully, and step by step.

Where the Journey Started

We did not begin with the expectation that the child would sit for a full hair brushing routine.

That would have been too much, too fast.

Instead, we started where the child could be successful.

The first goal was simply allowing the therapist to touch the child’s hair for one second. That may sound small, but for a child who is not yet comfortable with hair brushing, that one second matters.

In ABA, this is called shaping. Shaping means reinforcing small steps toward a larger skill. Instead of expecting the full routine right away, we teach the skill in small, manageable steps.

After the child was successful with one second, we increased to three seconds. Then five seconds. Then gently moving or manipulating the hair for a few seconds.

Each step was introduced based on the child’s readiness.

The goal was not to rush the process. The goal was to help the child learn that this routine could be safe, predictable, and manageable.

Building the Hair Brushing Routine Step by Step

Once the child was more comfortable with having their hair touched and gently moved, we slowly introduced brushing.

Again, we did not start with the whole head of hair.

The therapist began by brushing one small section. Then brushing from the middle of the hair down to the ends. Then brushing from the roots down. Over time, the child participated in brushing across more sections of the hair.

Eventually, the child was able to participate in hair brushing more fully and even participate in hairstyles.

That is a big deal.

This was not just about completing a task. This was about helping the child participate in a routine that supported hygiene, comfort, dignity, and future independence.

For this child, being able to participate in hair brushing meant more than “getting hair done.” It meant the child could be part of a daily routine that many families need to complete before school, after bath time, before outings, or before special events.

Teaching Communication During Personal Care

When we work on personal care routines like hair brushing, nail cutting, bathing, toothbrushing, dressing, or toileting, communication has to be part of the process.

Children should have a way to tell us what they need.

That may include teaching the child to request:

“Break.”

“Help.”

“All done.”

“Wait.”

“Gentle.”

In ABA, this is called Functional Communication Training, or FCT. FCT means teaching the child a safer, clearer, and more effective way to communicate during routines that may be difficult for them.

This is important because children should not have to scream, cry, push away, run, or engage in unsafe behaviors just to tell us that something feels uncomfortable or that they need a break.

A respectful program gives the child a way to communicate while also helping them build the skill.

When the Skill Works With the Therapist, But Not Yet With the Caregiver

One thing that can happen during skill acquisition is that a child learns a skill with one person first.

For example, the child may participate in hair brushing with the RBT in the clinic, but the caregiver may say, “They let you do it, but they won’t let me do it at home.”

This is actually very common.

It does not mean the caregiver is doing something wrong.

It does not mean the child cannot do the skill.

It usually means we need to work on generalization.

Generalization means the child can use the skill with different people, in different places, and during real routines. A child may learn to participate in hair brushing with a therapist, but that skill may still need to be taught with the caregiver.

That is why generalization has to be planned intentionally.

Bringing the Caregiver Into the Routine

One strategy that can work really well is having the RBT, BCBA, and caregiver present together.

The RBT may begin by brushing a few strokes because the child already has a history of success with that person. Then the caregiver does one or two gentle strokes. Then the RBT continues. Then the caregiver does another one or two strokes.

Over time, the caregiver slowly does more of the routine, and the RBT slowly fades out.

This helps the child experience the caregiver as part of the successful routine without making the change feel too big too fast.

In ABA terms, this may include stimulus fading, prompt fading, and transfer of stimulus control. In simple terms, we are slowly helping the child participate in the routine with the caregiver, not only with the therapist.

This is important because the goal is not for hair brushing to only happen in therapy.

The goal is for the skill to matter in the child’s actual life.

From Clinic to Home and Beyond

When a child can participate in hair brushing with the therapist, then with the caregiver, and then at home, that skill can begin to show up in more places.

Before school.

After bath time.

Before a family event.

At a hotel during vacation.

At a salon in the future.

That is why daily living skills matter so much. They are not just “little routines.” They are connected to hygiene, safety, independence, confidence, family stress, and quality of life.

And eventually, maybe even as part of the child learning to brush their own hair.

For many caregivers, hygiene routines can feel emotionally exhausting. A caregiver may want to help their child feel clean, comfortable, and cared for, but the routine may feel impossible.

So when a child begins participating in hair brushing, it can change the entire routine.

It can reduce stress.

It can improve the child’s comfort.

It can help the caregiver feel more confident.

It can support hygiene.

And it can support the child’s dignity.

Why This Journey Matters

As a behavior analyst, I love working on programs like this because they are meaningful. They are not just skills on paper. They impact real families, real routines, and real quality of life.

When we approach these skills carefully, we are not just teaching a child to complete a task.

We are teaching the child that their body is respected.

We are teaching them that adults can help in safe and predictable ways.

We are teaching them how to communicate when something feels uncomfortable.

We are teaching them that routines can become easier over time.

And we are supporting caregivers with routines that may have felt impossible before.

That is the part of ABA I wish more people saw.

Good ABA is not about forcing children through difficult routines.

Good ABA is about understanding what is hard, breaking the skill down, teaching communication, reinforcing progress, and helping the child participate in life in a way that feels safe, respectful, and meaningful.

And when one child goes from not allowing their hair to be touched, to participating in hair brushing, to allowing their caregiver to be part of that routine, that is something worth celebrating.

This Matters

Daily living skills may look small from the outside, but for many families, they can change the entire rhythm of the day. When we approach these routines with care, communication, and respect, we are not just teaching a skill. We are supporting dignity, independence, and quality of life.

About the Author

Jazzmyn Mijic, MS, BCBA, is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst that has been providing and advocating for compassionate care and supports for children and families with Autism and related disorders since 2011. She develops practical ABA materials designed to support meaningful skill acquisition across real-life routines.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized assessment, treatment planning, or clinical supervision. ABA programs should be individualized by qualified professionals based on the learner’s needs, safety, medical considerations, and caregiver goals.