Why Waiting Is Easier When Children Have Something to Do

By Jazzmyn Mijic, M.S., B.C.B.A.
Posted: July 2026
Category: ABA Therapy, Daily Living Skills, Functional Communication

Waiting is a skill that shows up everywhere.

Children wait for food to finish in the microwave. They wait for a toy. They wait for attention. They wait while an adult is talking. They wait in the car. They wait in the bathroom. They wait at appointments. They wait during transitions, routines, meals, community outings, and everyday family life.

But one of the biggest things I remind people is this:

Children do not only need to learn how to wait.

They also need to learn what to do while they wait.

As adults, we naturally fill our waiting time. We check our phones. We answer a message. We scroll. We fold laundry. We clean the counter. We organize something. We grab a drink. We think through our next task. We rarely just stand still and do absolutely nothing while time passes.

We are constantly finding ways to stay active, occupied, or engaged.

So when we ask children to wait, especially young children or children with developmental delays, autism, or related needs, we should also think about what skill we are giving them during that waiting period.

Waiting should not always mean “stand there and do nothing.”

Waiting can mean:

“Play with this toy while we wait.”

“Sit at the table and look at your book.”

“Watch the timer.”

“Hold this item.”

“Check the microwave numbers.”

“Play on the floor while I finish this phone call.”

“Choose something to do while you wait.”

That small shift can make a big difference.

Waiting Is Not Always Easy

Waiting can be difficult for many reasons.

A child may not understand how long they are waiting. They may not know what is happening next. They may want access to an item, activity, food, or attention right away. They may not yet have the communication skills to ask for help, more time, a break, or something else to do.

And sometimes, the expectation is simply unclear.

When adults say “wait,” we often know what that means. We understand time. We understand the routine. We understand that the microwave will beep, the phone call will end, the line will move, or the adult will come back.

Children may not understand all of that yet.

That is why waiting should be taught with support, structure, and meaningful alternatives.

Give Children Something Appropriate to Do While They Wait

One of the most helpful strategies is teaching children to engage with an appropriate item, toy, or activity while they are waiting.

For example, if a child is waiting for food to heat in the microwave, there are a few different ways this routine could be supported.

The child could sit at the table and watch the numbers on the microwave.

The child could wait with a toy or small activity at the table.

The child could check back to the microwave as the timer counts down.

The child could help with the full microwave routine, then wait with an item until the food is ready.

This is not just “keeping them busy.” This is teaching routine participation, independence, engagement, and waiting in a way that is more realistic for daily life.

Another example may be waiting for adult attention.

If an adult is on the phone, the child may be taught to play with toys on the floor, look at a book, complete a simple activity, or use a visual that shows when the adult will be available again.

Instead of only saying, “Wait, I’m on the phone,” we can teach:

“When I am on the phone, you can play with your toys.”

“When the timer is done, I will help you.”

“You can sit with your activity while you wait.”

This gives the child something to do and helps make the waiting expectation clearer.

Adults Fill Their Waiting Time Too

It is important to remember that adults do this all day.

We wait for coffee to brew, so we check our messages.

We wait for food to cook, so we wipe the counter.

We wait at an appointment, so we scroll on our phones.

We wait in the car, so we listen to music.

We wait in line, so we look around, talk, or read something.

We rarely expect ourselves to wait with no activity, no information, and no way to pass the time.

Children deserve the same consideration.

When we teach children to wait, we should also teach them what waiting can look like.

Waiting can include quiet play.

Waiting can include looking at a book.

Waiting can include a simple chore.

Waiting can include watching a visual timer.

Waiting can include holding a preferred item.

Waiting can include selecting another activity while they wait for the original item or activity.

The goal is not just to reduce challenging behavior. The goal is to build a useful life skill that the child can use across routines, people, places, and environments.

Visual Timers Can Help Make Waiting Clearer

Visual timers can be a very helpful support during waiting routines.

A visual timer gives the child information. It shows that waiting has a beginning and an end. It can help make time more concrete, especially for children who do not yet fully understand minutes, seconds, or abstract language like “soon” or “in a little bit.”

Visual timers can be used during:

Waiting for food

Waiting for a turn

Waiting for adult attention

Waiting before leaving the house

Waiting during a transition

Waiting in a therapy session

Waiting during a community outing

Waiting for a preferred activity

The timer should be paired with clear language and a meaningful activity.

For example:

“First wait with your toy, then food.”

“Play with blocks while the timer is on.”

“When the timer is done, it is your turn.”

“Wait at the table. You can hold your car.”

This helps the child understand what to do, how long they are waiting, and what happens next.

Waiting Can Build Independence

Waiting routines are also opportunities to build independence.

A child can learn to select an item before waiting. They can learn to bring a toy to the table. They can learn to check a timer. They can learn to remain in a safe area. They can learn to participate in a routine from beginning to end.

For example, in a microwave routine, the child may learn to:

Get the food item with support

Bring it to the microwave area

Help place it in the microwave

Press buttons with support or independently

Watch the numbers count down

Wait with a toy or item nearby

Return when the microwave beeps

Sit at the table to eat

That is much more than waiting.

That is routine participation.

That is independence.

That is daily living skill development.

And for many children, those everyday routines are some of the most meaningful skills we can teach.

Waiting Happens Everywhere

There are natural opportunities to practice waiting throughout the day.

A child may wait:

For the microwave

For the bathtub to fill

For a caregiver to finish talking

For a sibling to finish using a toy

For a turn in a game

For a snack to be opened

For a video to load

For a door to open

For an appointment

For a transition to begin

For an adult to return

For a preferred activity to become available

These are not always “program times.” They are real-life moments.

And because they happen naturally, they can be powerful opportunities for teaching.

The more we support waiting during everyday routines, the more children can learn that waiting is manageable, predictable, and something they can do with support.

When Children Are Bored, They Get Creative

One thing I often remind people is this:

When children are bored, they get creative.

And not always in the way we were hoping.

If a child does not know what to do while waiting, they may find something to do. That may include climbing, running, grabbing items, yelling, throwing, touching things they should not touch, interrupting, or engaging in other behaviors that are not safe or appropriate for the situation.

This does not mean the child is “bad.”

It may mean the child needs a clearer routine, a replacement skill, a communication response, a visual support, or an appropriate activity to help them through that waiting period.

Instead of only reacting to what the child does during waiting, we can plan ahead.

We can ask:

What is the child waiting for?

How long do they need to wait?

Do they understand what happens next?

Do they have a way to ask for help?

Do they have a way to ask for more time?

Do they have something appropriate to do?

Do they know where their body should be?

Do they need a timer, visual, toy, or structured activity?

These questions can help us build waiting routines that are more supportive and more realistic.

Waiting Should Be Taught as a Skill

Waiting is not just an expectation.

It is a skill.

And like any skill, it may need to be taught, practiced, prompted, reinforced, and generalized.

Some children may start with very short waiting periods. Some may need a visual timer. Some may need a preferred item. Some may need frequent praise. Some may need a first-then visual. Some may need to practice waiting across many different routines before the skill becomes more independent.

The goal is not to force a child to wait without support.

The goal is to teach the child how to wait successfully.

That may look like waiting with a toy.

Waiting with a visual.

Waiting while watching a timer.

Waiting while completing a simple activity.

Waiting while requesting help.

Waiting while requesting “all done,” “more time,” or “my turn.”

Waiting while remaining in a safe area.

Waiting while participating in the routine.

When we teach waiting this way, we are not just addressing behavior. We are building communication, independence, self-management, daily living skills, and participation.

Final Thoughts

Waiting is part of everyday life.

But children often need more than the instruction “wait.”

They need to know what waiting means, what they can do while they wait, how long they are waiting, and what happens next.

When we give children appropriate ways to stay engaged while they wait, we help them participate more successfully in daily routines. We help reduce frustration. We help build independence. We help them access replacement skills that make sense in real life.

Because waiting is not just about being still.

Waiting is about learning how to manage time, routines, expectations, and access to people, places, items, and activities.

And sometimes, the most helpful thing we can teach a child is not just how to wait.

It is what to do while they wait.

About the Author

Jazzmyn Mijic, M.S., B.C.B.A., is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with experience supporting children, caregivers, RBTs, and clinical teams through individualized ABA programming, caregiver collaboration, and skill-based treatment planning. She creates ABA resources, program materials, and professional development content to help providers write clearer programs, support meaningful skill development, and improve treatment implementation across home, clinic, school, and community settings.

Disclaimer

This blog is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace individualized assessment, treatment planning, supervision, or clinical recommendations from a qualified professional. ABA programs and behavior intervention strategies should be individualized to the learner and developed by trained professionals based on assessment, data, caregiver collaboration, and ongoing clinical decision-making.